June 2012
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Disliking a country does not fucking justify misdeeds you’ve done to it in the past. Don’t claim you’re civilized and then turn around and claim nothing happened. That is bullshit. So much fucking bullshit.
May 2012
“Why don’t you tell me that ‘if the girl had been worth having she’d have waited...”
– Amory Blaine, This Side Of Paradise (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
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How I see classical music sometimes.
France: [Finishes an elegant piece]
Germany: [Polite applause] Oh well /done/, France! Definitely in the tradition of Beethoven! Yes indeed, very much in His footsteps.
France: I should think so! After all, you may all /make/ composers, but it is to France that they come to gestate!
Italy: Pish posh. Italy is still the center of civilization. I challenge you to find a truly great composer who has not studied under an Italian master.
England: ...You know, Frederick Delius is credited as an English composer. Yup. He was /born/ here. His skin sucked the genius right out of our soil.
Norway: You know, Delius spent some time here in Norway. Maybe that's-
Germany: Why all his music sounds like the gentle glimmer of snow that clings to edges of a brook in spring? Please. Your music has no /pain/!
Norway: ...We're okay with that.
France: Psh, pain! You want pain! Come to France!
Italy: Oh yes, do go to France. Their music is so profound that it shall forever be remembered as cartoon backdrops, and the sort of operas that establishments put on during slow seasons to fill up the gallery.
France: We have /Debussy/!
Norway: Ooo, Debussy! We love Debussy!
Germany: Pah! Need I say more?
England: Poland, I'm amazed you're not joining this pissing contest.
Poland: [Looks up from newspaper] Hm? Oh. We've got Chopin. Whatever. Carry on with your little squabble.
Germany: This reminds me- I met this fabulous fella named Russia. I invited him to join our little tea party. Russia!
Russia: [Pokes head around doorframe] ...
Germany: Do come sit with us!
France: Oh my, yes, please do. Don't be intimidated.
Italy: Perhaps you can learn a thing or two from us.
Poland: Wow, seriously, you invited Russia? Thanks. Thanks a lot. [Storms out]
France: ...[Whispers to England] What's his problem?
England: Awkward ex. Also, don't lean so close to me.
Germany: Russia, we were just discussing how /pain/ adds a certain non-replicable profundity to music. What do you think?
Russia: ...[Pulls out violin]
France: Oh my, a performance! Splendid! I warn you, good fella, you can hardly follow my act, but we'll give you some pointers. [Has a sit]
RUSSIA: [ASSAULT OF PEERLESS MUSICAL GENIUS AND ANGST] [I SHALL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL WITH DARKNESS] [EVEN MY WALTZES SHALL MAKE YOU WEEP] [THE UNIVERSE IS COLD, EMPTY, AND EXISTENTIAL] [DIE, EMOTIONS, DIE!]
France: [Eyes bleed]
Germany: [Dead on the floor]
England: ... [Tea slowly spills in lap]
Italy: [Crawling toward exit, fingernails scraping at the floor]
Norway: ... [Hides behind Sweden]
Sweden: Sorry- What are we talking about?
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(If I wasn't so lazy, I would draw all this.)
Poland also had Szymanowski! Smugness EARNED.
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“The idea that intelligence is linked to English pronunciation is a legacy from...”
– Delalorm Semabia, 25, a Ghanaian blogger (x)
Kream Soda: sherlock-hound: A young art student... →
sherlock-hound:
A young art student stands in a classroom, her final senior project on full display, waiting for her professor to come in and give her the final critique that will determine her fate as an artist. She has spent countless hours toiling over a series of digital portraits,…
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Mom: “Did you always have so many masks?”
Me: “Mother, the depth of my despair demands it.”
Mom: “…”
Me: “…”
Mom: “I meant the freaky ones hanging on your wall.”
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Alisonofagun: On Shipping and Fanboys →
patheticfangirl:
This is my letter to angry fanboys.
First, let it be known that I love most fanboys. When I go to a con, most of the guys there are respectful. They share a passion with me, and that’s awesome. We’re all on a rock floating through space with little connection to most of…
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Loyal Stray Dog Follows Cyclist On 1700 km Race
lonelycoast:
Dogs rule
aplacetolovedogs:
Shelly Mamott, Staff Writer
A stray dog, nicknamed Xiao Sa, has become an internet sensation after following the man who fed her while on a grueling 24 day,
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“The only boat that doesn’t rock is one that isn’t going anywhere.”
– Eddie (via mywordistheberretta)
the McFly effect
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the phenomenon of observing your parents interact with people they grew up with, which reboots their personalities into youth mode, reverting to a time before the last save point, when they were still dreamers and rascals cooling their heels in the wilderness, waiting terrified and eager to meet you for the first time.
The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: sonder →
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate…
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